Brilliant
by maple mouse
Summary: America has come up with a brilliant (incredibly stupid) idea and it is up to Canada and Finland to stop him. One-shot.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or any of the other things mentioned in this story, only the actually story itself.**

"Alfred! I swear, if you do this I will personally kill you!" Canada screamed (whispered).  
America rolled his eyes, "I can take you any day of the week, bro."  
Canada beat his fists against the chain link fence, still yelling (whispering) at him. Ignoring his overreacting twin, America looked down at the row of chicken cages before him. He drew a can of red spray paint from his backpack and proceeded to paint the first hen in the row.  
The banging at the fence stopped and America turned, having finished the first bird. Canada was talking frantically on his cellphone, though the American was too far away to hear what he was saying. As he watched, Canada hung up and turned back to yelling (whispering) at him. America shrugged and began to color the next chicken.  
His phone rang; he answered it without checking the caller ID.  
"Hello! The hero is speaking."  
"Mr. America, your brother just called me," Finland said, getting strait to the point, "please tell me you aren't really going to do this."  
"Dude, I totally am! It's gonna be so much fun."  
Finland sighed, "It's a game, America, just a game!"  
Having finished painting his fifth chicken, America switched out his red spray paint for yellow and kept painting.  
"Yeah, whatever. Talk to ya later, Tino." With that, America hung up.  
Having finished painting the chickens, America strolled over to the giant tower of Styrofoam boxes. Each box was two feet long and wide and had previously been painted grey. Interspersed throughout the huge tower were four green pigs (as green pigs do not normally appear in nature, it is safe to assume that America had painted them too.) After adjusting a few boxes, America stood back to admire his work, it was quite a sturdy looking tower if he said so himself.  
Preparations finally complete, America removed one of the red chickens from its cage. The hen squawked and glared up at America furiously. America paused for a moment under the hateful gaze then shrugged, the game was called Angry Birds for a reason he supposed.  
Loading the bird into the four foot tall sling-shot that had taken him several months to build, America took one last glance over his shoulder at his brother. To his surprise and dismay, Canada was nowhere to be seen. America checked again, just to make sure he hadn't missed the blonde boy.  
Deciding that his twin truly had left, America began to pull back the slingshot, red chicken and all. Squinting, he aimed the bird directly at the tower, making small adjustment to ensure that it hit the huge tower.  
In the instant before he released the soon to be projectile bird, two things happened simultaneously. A small blonde figure darted forward and snatched the bird from its perch; in the same instant, another blonde figure tackled America to the ground.  
"HEY! Ow! What was that for?!" America demanded of his assailant.  
Shoving America away, Canada got to his feet and dusted himself off, "Y-you know what that was for..."  
Grumbling at his twin, America stood as well, "You didn't have to tackle me, geez!"  
Ignoring him Canada turned to the other blonde, "did you get the bird?"  
Finland nodded, holding up the extremely angry looking chicken.  
Canada nodded and turned back to his twin, "I-in what world did y-you think that this was a good idea? Do you have any idea how many laws this is breaking?"  
"I was just trying to have a bit of fun..." America muttered.  
"Fun?! This is your idea of fun? Launching live animals out of a sling shot?" Finland demanded, holding up the spray painted chicken as if to prove his point.  
"You started it."  
Finland spluttered for a moment, at a loss for words, "It's just a game! You aren't supposed to use real birds."  
"Sorry," he said dejectedly, "I guess I should start cleaning this up, huh?"  
Taking pity on his brother, Canada sighed, "no, go home Al. We'll take care of this."  
Thanking the two blonde nations, America drove himself home. Flopping down on the couch, he pulled out his phone and opened up his Where's My Water app, grinning wickedly as an idea popped into his head.

**I did it! I wrote a fic where nobody died! What an accomplishment. Anyways, I came up the idea for this story after learning that the app Angry Birds was made in Finland. I'm so weird.**


End file.
